Oy! How do I tell my traditional family that I've come to realize Yeshua is the Mashiyach?

The Refiner's Fire has received several inquiries from former "traditional Jews" who have agonized over how to break the news about Yeshua to their friends and family. While there is no easy or "correct" answer, here are some suggestions:

If you have realized that Yeshua IS the long-awaited Mashiyach, let us at The Refiner's Fire be the first to congratulate you on your decision! You are among the VERY FEW people in this world who actually "get" it.

Still it won't be easy to break the news to your Jewish parents and/or spouse who will accuse you of everything from blasphemy to having lost your mind, and then threatening to disown you. So what do you do?

You have several options. You can:

  • Blurt it out after dinner and hope for the best (never during dinner, because your family has access to knives and forks!)

  • Fake mental problems and have yourself committed to an institution; that way, it will be easier for them to accept

  • Move to the opposite coast and break the news via e-mail.

  • Keep it a secret forever.

  • Be a REAL man (or woman) and simply tell them the truth, and let them deal with it to the best of their abilities.

On a more serious note, perhaps it would be best to tell your family that you have decided that Yeshua IS the Messiah they have been waiting for because:

  • The Christian "Jesus" is NOT the person named Yeshua who actually walked this Earth two thousand years ago, because the REAL Yeshua was a Torah observant, tallit-wearing, kosher, Seventh Day Sabbath and Biblical Feast-keeping JEW who came to do YHWH's will and show mankind how to properly worship Him...and then to offer Himself as the FINAL SIN SACRIFICE!

  • Yeshua has personally fulfilled more than 300 Tanach prophecies.

  • Yeshua, whose very Name means "YHWH is Salvation" was not a "new god" nor did He come to replace YHWH but, rather, to carry out His will. He was sent in human form so that we could see God face-to-face and be a living Torah who personally showed man how to obey YHWH. The Christian "Jesus" was not Torah observant; he was just someone who supposedly came to replace God, abolish ALL of His original Divine instructions and insist "grace" has replaced Torah - even though the Gospels, when read in context, show otherwise....

  • The Scriptures and all the Biblical Feasts foreshadow Yeshua. In them we see that YHWH promised us a Messiah (Genesis 49:8-12) who would be a prophet like unto Moses (Deuteronomy 18:15, 18, 19) and enter Jerusalem in triumph, gentle, and riding on a donkey (Zechariah 9:9.) Preceded by a forerunner (Deuteronomy 18:15-18; see also Malachi 3:1-5; Isaiah 9:6-7), he would minister mostly in Galilee and be rejected by His own people (Isaiah 9:1-2, Daniel 9:24-26, Isaiah 53:1, 3, and Psalm 118:22). Messiah would would speak to us in parables (Psalm 78:2, Matthew 13:35) and be tried and condemned (Isaiah 53:8); He would be silent before His accusers (Isaiah 53:7) and smitten and spat upon by His enemies (Micah 5:1, Isaiah 50:6); mocked and taunted (Psalm 22:7, 8); suffer with transgressors and pray for His enemies (Isaiah 53:12); and given vinegar and gall to drink (Psalm 69:21). We are told His bones would not be broken (Numbers 9:12, Exodus 12:46), and that people would divide His garments among them and cast lots for His clothing (Psalm 22:18). Most importantly, Messiah was to die as an offering for sin (Isaiah 53:5, 6, 8, 10, 11, 12), and the Psalms say he was to be raised from the dead/resurrected (Psalm 16:10, Mark 16:19-20; John 20:1-10; Matthew 28:11-1; John 20:19-23; Mark 16:14; and Mark 16:14-18). And let's not forget the Scriptures tell us that Messiah would ultimately be at YHWH's Right Hand (Psalm 110:1). We're told in Isaiah 49:6 that God's salvation would reach the ends of the earth through His servant who would be a light to Gentiles (non-Jews).

If you're actually bold enough to "come out of the closet", you will probably discover that you are now the "black sheep" of the family, and unfortunately, this may or may not change (for an eye-opening experience, check out our Challenging the Anti-Missionaries page). The traditional Jew (whether he/she actually knows anything about Judaism or not) simply does not want to hear about Yeshua. It doesn't matter that He was foreshadowed throughout the Tanach or outlined in Isaiah 53, or that He has fulfilled all the prophecies of the Old Testament — including the amazing prophecy of Daniel 9 and the "70 weeks." It doesn't matter that He offered His life in exchange for ours as the Final Sin Sacrifice, thus saving us from the clutches of haSatan. What matters is their pride as a people and a nation, which overshadows everything else including YHWH's Word. (And really, who can blame them? Throughout history Jews have been through hell and back and they're still here and they're still YHWH's "Chosen"!)

Once you've broken the news to your family about your decision, you will have to be extremely careful about pushing your new Netzarim/Messianic belief on them because, most likely, they won't want to hear it. Many Jews (like the rest of the world), simply don't bother with the Creator at all; and those who actually are religious, have put Him in a box and tried to conform Him to their human mindsets. They forget that YHWH is God, and we ain't! (It seems, nobody asks Him what HE thinks about anything, or what HE wants, or how HE wants to be worshipped....)

Fact is, most of us Jews - no matter how "religious" - are still blinded to the Truth and there is basically nothing you can do, except to keep sowing those "God seeds" and pray that YHWH would remove the scales from the eyes of those who are still "blind". Most "religious" people (Jews and Christians alike) read the Bible with blinders on, picking and choosing whatever suits their needs, rather than asking the Ruach haKodesh to help them discern the Truth. Therefore, it's better to let it go, and to sow an occasional seed, than to turn your family and friends off completely and thus run the risk of never being able to witness to them.

If your family is "Biblically challenged", and don't know Moshe from Nebuchanezzar, they might go easier on you than, say, a family member who is a rabbi. You can teach your family the basics, and maybe get them to see the Truth of Messiah Yeshua in the process, but your rabbi relative, well - he's going to take a LOT more convincing! He will need all kinds of proof - and even then he probably won't believe you! In that case, you can start with the basics, such as showing him the parts of the Tanach that foreshadowed Yeshua (see Qualifications of Messiah, and Isaiah 53).

Later, you can ask him how come hundreds of Bible prophecies have already come true, and are STILL unfolding before our eyes, especially from the Books of Daniel and Revelation. Show him some prophecies fulfilled by Yeshua (Prophecies Fulfilled by Yeshua 1, and Prophecies Fulfilled by Yeshua 2, along with some End Time Prophecies, and Yeshua's end time teachings in Matthew 24. YHWH knew what He was doing all along; He had a "satellite" perspective on our world, while we only had our limited "ant's" view....

You must be prepared for the reality that some of your family might NEVER accept the "new" you - and that they may disown you altogether. All you can do is to try to be understanding and simply accept this fact. Be assured, however that, whether they admit it or not, they will notice a difference in you, once you become a believer - and that, in itself, can speak volumes! Regardless as to what they might say, down deep, they will feel a little jealous because you now have an inner peace and a relationship with YHWH that you never had before.

NOTE: It is imperative to remember that Netzarim belief and especially Christianity can bring out the "ogre" in many Jews - partially because:

  • The Jews have a rocky history with so-called "Christians" who have tried to annihilate them (i.e., Hitler who insisted he was a Christian);

  • Many Christians - especially those who don't have a clue about the "Old Testament" - have tried to force a blond, completely un-Jewish "Malibu Jesus" on them who couldn't even SPELL Torah, let alone DO it;

  • Their human egos and pride get hurt when they are told that we are all sinners.

Humans don't want to believe they are sinners and are reluctant let go of their carnal, worldly ways. Yeshua has a way of making us feel unclean and ashamed once our eyes have been opened to Him and we are suddenly able to see ourselves from a Godly perspective. People don't realize that, once we get past the initial shock about our sinful selves, He opens up a whole new world from which we can proceed as brand new creatures who have been cleaned from the inside out (without personally having to kill an innocent animal!). The bottom line is: the "natural man" cannot understand God (1 Cor 2:14) or the Bible until until he has acknowledged the fact that he is a sinner, and has repented and asked Yeshua to take control of his life. Until then, we can try to explain and witness until we're blue in the face, but all we will get in return is a blank stare....


Whatever happens with your family, do not allow that to come between you and YHWH as this is exactly what haSatan wants. Just try to be patient and pray for them in the realization that one day, EVERY knee shall bow....) If you begin to notice a rift in your family, immediately put a damper on things by telling them you'd rather not discuss it right now because it will lead to an argument; then assure them that your love for them will never diminish, no matter what. They might kick you out of their lives, anyhow, but at least you will know that it was THEIR choice, not yours. (While this might sound a little callous, there comes a time when we HAVE to stand up for what we believe in - especially where Yeshua is concerned. Remember, He sparked all kinds of controversy, and was forced to endure both mental agony and physical torture at the hands of those who disagreed with Him. Belief in Yeshua often comes with a price, but in the end, it will have been worth it....)

If your family and friends are adamant about belittling or harassing you and your new belief and try to force you into "returning to your roots", send them to The Refiner's Fire! Have them read the following articles so they can at least challenge your belief from a more educated viewpoint. (Remember: Many, if not most, Jews have never even read the New Covenant, yet they knock themselves out to keep their loved ones away from it.)

We also suggest you have your friends and relatives read everything on our Challenging Traditional Judaism page. They might become angry but, hey, they're mad at you anyway, so what have you got to lose?

And if all else fails, tell them about the end times that we are in - times that are outlined in the books of Daniel and Revelation and are NOW unfolding before our very eyes: Messiah's Return and End Time Questions. We are living in some very interesting times and things are starting to happen in Biblical proportions!

We're not going to lie to you: Informing your family of your belief in Yeshua will be one of the most difficult tasks you've ever accomplished. But YHWH is great and capable of anything; simply keep your eyes on Him, and ask the Ruach to help you deal with it.